Our Programs:
Let me tell you the story of Sarah. Sarah is a 62-year-old African American woman who works every day at the post office. She's the woman behind the counter you buy your stamps from. She's been behind this counter for the last 25 years, coming on the bus every day from her North Philadelphia neighborhood.
Sarah has raised three children. Two live out of town, but she is lucky enough that a daughter with three little grandchildren lives close by. Sarah is expectantly awaiting her fourth grandchild.
Horribly her daughter enters labor, suffers a stroke and loses consciousness. Her baby daughter is born in crisis and needs intensive care.
Sarah, like many grandmothers, steps in to care for the kids and brings them to live at her home. Day-in and day-out Sarah cares for the little ones, sends the oldest off to school and visits the mother and baby in the hospital. Everyone hopes that Sarah's daughter and the baby will have a full recovery.
Sarah feels she must leave her job because the kids need her care full time. For the time being she supports herself and the children on her savings, not really knowing what else to do. She has no idea how to reach the baby’s father or her daughter’s former husband.
She finds herself alone, unable to work, and caring for three grandchildren who are traumatized. She has never been so tired or lonely. At the neonatal intensive care unit Sarah picks up information about the GrandFamily Resource Center of the Supportive Older Women’s Network. She calls and says, “I don't think you can help me” and describes her situation.
Richelle Phillips, the GrandFamily Resource Center coordinator, listens to Sarah as she talks and cries for a long time. Richelle responds sympathetically, “Yes, of course you are overwhelmed and stressed. You've been doing this all on your own. But you don't have to stand alone. Will you come to a one-hour meeting next Thursday at the GrandFamily Resource Center? We’re located two blocks from where you live. I believe you'll feel some relief and meet other women who will support you.”
Sarah agrees to come once. She comes again the next week. For several weeks Sarah attends a support group for grandparents raising grandchildren. She sobs throughout each meeting and is seriously considering placing the kids in foster care. She sits in the group listening to seven others grandmothers discuss their lives while caring for their grandchildren. When her two-year-old grandson has an earache, Caitlin Prusko, the GrandFamily social worker, helps Sarah find a pediatric clinic.
At her third session, Sarah joins the group, shattered, sharing the news that her daughter just died this morning. Sarah repeats over and over — “I don't know what to do” — “I don't know what to say to the kids.” Unfortunately there are two other grandmothers participating in the group who have experienced this horrible loss.
Mary looks at Sarah with deep compassion and the sad eyes of someone who has been there. She touches Sarah's shoulder and after a pause says, “Sarah, you can do this and we're going to help you. This afternoon when your grandchildren come home from school you will say today is a sad day because mommy died. You will be strong enough to care for them, and we will be here next week for the next step.”
Sarah’s journey continues through her daughter's burial and the ongoing care of four grandchildren—seven, four, two, and newborn. Each week Sarah comes to the GrandFamily support group meeting as she struggles to create a new family unit in her small two-bedroom row house.
Once she begins to share her concerns, Sarah is able to learn much from the GrandFamily staff and from the other grandparents. For example, one day she asks, “Do I need to get legal custody of my grandchildren?” After the meeting, Richelle Philips takes Sarah into the office to counsel her about legal services and make the needed referral to a legal services agency.
Never missing her weekly meeting, Sarah receives the support and help she needs to keep these grandchildren in her home and not place them in the foster care system. In a few weeks, Sarah enrolls in a GrandFamily parenting workshop, “Dealing With Your Emotions.” She learns that to do a good job raising her grandchildren, she needs to realize her own emotions.
“Who will help me cope with the death of my daughter?” she asks and she begins to spend time in individual counseling with Caitlin Prusko. “Do my grandchildren need help to cope with the death of their mom?” One support group member, Jo, shares her experience with an agency that helps children cope with the loss of family members. After the meeting Caitlin shares more information about children’s services with Sarah.
Encouraged by the value she finds in the parenting workshop, Sarah decides to enroll in computer training held for the GrandFamily Resource Center group at the Honickman Learning Center. She feels her oldest grandson is proud that she learns there, at the same computer lab where he goes after school. Now a regular participant in her support group, along with parenting workshops, computer training and knowing that she can call the GrandFamily staff for counseling and referrals, Sarah believes that she can raise these four grandchildren.
Sarah didn't think she had it in her to continue — like hundreds of other grandmothers caring for their grandchildren who also face the challenge of caring for themselves, their own aging issues, and their concerns about health and finances. At the GrandFamily Resource Center, grandparents find sanctuary, hope, and the strength to go on.
